Changed the template. Again. Yes, in just 5 days. I know.

I just felt that the whole thing was too dull. And I might have been infringing some copyrights by using those anime pictures. Now here's a brand new template, created entirely by me! Again!



Since I'll be busy studying for my exams, I won't be posting for a while. So, to keep you occupied, here are some of my previous posts, cuz you'd probably be too lazy to dig into my shallow archives. Read them at least now.



Chances of aliens finding Earth disappearing?



Matrix or Ghost In The Shell??



Spiderman 2 is quite disappointing



Power implant aims to run on body heat



Why do we exist?



Is anyone truly selfless?



Handwriting problems...



Death : something to fear or something to look forward to?

Bart Simpson's Chalkboard Exercises

If you're a fan of The Simpsons, you would've noticed how Bart writes exercises on the board during the opening credits. The following is a list of most of those writings, guaranteed to make you chuckle:

• I will not carve gods.
• I will not spank others.
• I will not aim for the head.
• I will not barf unless I'm sick
• I will not expose the ignorance of the faculty.
• I saw nothing unusual in the teacher's lounge.
• I will not conduct my own fire drills.
• Funny noises are not funny.
• I will not snap bras.
• I will not fake seizures.
• This punishment is not boring and pointless.
• My name is not Dr. Death.
• I will not defame New Orleans.
• I will not prescribe medication.
• I will not bury the new kid.
• I will not teach others to fly.
• I will not bring sheep to class.
• A burp is not an answer.
• Teacher is not a leper.
• Coffee is not for kids.
• I will not eat things for money.
• I will not yell "She's Dead" at roll call.
• The principal's toupee is not a Frisbee.
• I will not call the principal "spud head".
• Goldfish don't bounce.
• Mud is not one of the 4 food groups.
• No one is interested in my underpants.
• I will not sell miracle cures.
• I will return the seeing-eye dog.
• I do not have diplomatic immunity.
• I will not charge admission to the bathroom.
• I will never win an emmy.
• The cafeteria deep fryer is not a toy.
• All work and no play makes Bart a dull boy.
• I will not say "Springfield" just to get applause.
• I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers.
• My homework was not stolen by a one-armed man.
• I will not go near the kindergarten turtle.
• I am not deliciously saucy.
• Organ transplants are best left to professionals.
• The Pledge of Allegiance does not end with "Hail Satan".
• I will not celebrate meaningless milestones.
• There are plenty of businesses like show business.
• Five days is not too long to wait for a gun.
• I will not waste chalk.
• I will not skateboard in the halls.
• I will not instigate revolution.
• I will not draw naked ladies in class.
• I did not see Elvis.
• I will not call my teacher "Hot Cakes".
• Garlic gum is not funny.
• They are laughing at me, not with me.
• I will not yell "Fire" in a crowded classroom.
• I will not encourage others to fly.
• I will not fake my way through life.
• Tar is not a plaything.
• I will not Xerox my butt.
• It's potato, not potatoe.
• I will not trade pants with others.
• I am not a 32 year old woman.
• I will not do that thing with my tongue.
• I will not drive the principal's car.
• I will not pledge allegiance to Bart.
• I will not sell school property.
• I will not burp in class.
• I will not cut corners.
• I will not get very far with this attitude.
• I will not belch the National Anthem.
• I will not sell land in Florida.
• I will not grease the monkey bars.
• I will not hide behind the Fifth Amendment.
• I will not do anything bad ever again.
• I will not show off.
• I will not sleep through my education.
• I am not a dentist.
• Spitwads are not free speech.
• Nobody likes sunburn slappers.
• High explosives and school don't mix.
• I will not bribe Principal Skinner.
• I will not squeak chalk.
• I will finish what I sta
• "Bart Bucks" are not legal tender.
• Underwear should be worn on the inside.
• The Christmas Pageant does not stink.
• I will not torment the emotionally frail.
  
  

New Template

I finally got the time to create a new template for the blog. I was tempted to use one from BlogSkins.com, but I decided to create one on my own again. I'm a big fan of Rurouni Kenshin, more popularly known as Samurai X, and the Get Backers. This template isn't complete yet; I want to spice up the background and the sidebar headers. Maybe later.



There are "Tsunami Relief" organizations popping up everywhere. Some of these aren't really aiding the victims of the South East Asian tsunami disaster, but actually cashing in on the disaster by putting up fake websites and asking for donations. Yes, they are cold-hearted, rotten sneaks who don't deserve to live. If you want to help the real victims, you need to contact official organizations. To help you out, I'm providing a list of websites through which you can contribute your little bit to help the unfortunate:



Google's list Tsunami Relief organizations

Indian Prime Minister's Office

Sulekha Tsunami Relief Fund

Sarvodaya - A Sri Lankan Foundation

DEC - Tsunami Earthquake Appeal

ReliefWeb

Why is it always blondes and Sardars who are dumb?

Before you ask, no, I'm not a Sardar or a blonde. But I find it increasingly irritating to read a dumb blonde joke or a Sardarji joke. Nearly every SMS I get these days is a joke based on Sardars.



An example :



"Sardarji was filling up an application form for a job. He promptly filled the columns titled NAME, AGE, ADDRESS etc. Then he came to the column Salary Expected: He was not sure as to what to be filled there. After much thought he wrote: Yes"



We have a couple of Sardars in our College and one of them is quite intelligent. Though I admit, I don't know any bright blondes, but that's probably because I know very few blondes.



Forget dumb Sardars. Ever played the game Grand Theft Auto 3? All the Taxi Drivers in the game are Sardars. There aren't so many Sardars in USA who drive taxis, are there? I wonder what they felt when they played the game...



Update: I had a kind of an adventure last Saturday. I've narrated it at my College Life blog, since it's something that happened on my way back from College.



A Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!

Desires of the Heart

I quite clearly remember my mindset last year. Seeing no valid reason for the existence of this universe and influenced by the sagacity of the sages depicted in epics, I concluded that life is unreal; I lost interest in this material world. I was peacefully content, with no wants whatsoever. I never cared for worldly events.

But things aren't the way they were before. At this point of time, I yearn for a lot of things. Here's a brief list, in no particular order.

I want:

1. To get out of my college's hostel.

2. The best 128 MB AGP card money can buy.

3. A reasonably fast broadband internet connection.

4. The best portable pocket-sized MP3 player.

5. A high resolution digital still camera, bluetooth enabled.

6. A Wi-Fi enabled notebook computer for obvious reasons.

7. The best keyboard(music) ever to hit the market.

8. A violin. Any violin.

9. The money to satisfy wants 2-8.

10. To practice euthanasia on myself provided no one will miss me, there's no such thing as an afterlife, and I'm not reborn.

Actually, a lifetime supply of Pepsi and daily necessities, and a computer with a fast, unlimited internet connection, free for life, would suffice.

Anything you want?

I'm beginning to hate the Internet.

Rather, I'm beginning to hate the lack of it wherever I go. You are probably familiar with the fact that I can access the internet only once a week when I go home, if you've been reading my blogs. Even that was ruined, at least for the past 2-3 weeks. I come home for the weekend, eager to blog and check my mail, and my parents tell me that the modem is kaput. Try to connect to the net, and you get "Error 633: The port cannot be found or is busy", or something to that effect. I knew the port couldn't be busy; we had no applications which used the COM1 port. With some tweaks here and there, it started working, but not for long. As soon as the computer was rebooted, the same error message appeared when one tried to connect to the net. Doing the same thing didn't fix the modem this time. So we assumed getting a new one would solve the problem. But, the day being a Sunday, no shops open, no modem. I had to wait for another week.



Next weekend, I come home; we have a new modem, but the same problem. It seems the modem worked fine till the computer was rebooted. Obviously, I began to see a pattern here. But I still couldn't fix it.



The next weekend, i.e., this weekend, I hit the jackpot. I completely understood what the problem was. Now we have two working modems. The fault didn't lie in the modem, it was the OS. Microsoft's OS. Windows XP. Service pack 2. In an attempt to secure the internet connection with a firewall, XP had done something, which was the source of all my misery.



I want wireless internet. But that's not gonna happen, at least not now. For that to happen, there have to be Wi-Fi zones wherever I go, and I have to have a Notebook Computer, with wireless functionality. The only free Wi-Fi zone (as a matter of fact, the ONLY Wi-Fi zone, free or not) in Chennai is at the Railway Station. And I won't be visiting that place too often.



While I'm doing this, there's this guy on the phone boasting about his MP3 collection, but unfortunately he doesn't have an MP3 player, so he wants me to write some on an Audio CD. What do I get in return? I don't know. He keeps saying that he'll gimme his entire collection, but that doesn't seem to be happening. I'll have to think it over.



I'm seriously considering applying for the internet connection at College even though it's extremely unreliable and slow. Even though you can't use Yahoo Messenger. Even though you can't download any music. Even though you can't browse websites which aren't education related. I hate my life. Maybe I shouldn't, but I do. At least for now.



Update: 3 weeks worth of updates at College Life. Be there, or be square.

Maybe I should get a phone with a camera...

Mobile Phone Camera day. I happened to get one for today, and this is one pic I wanted to post. Why can't we have cows away from the city like in most other countries??? (For more information regarding my attitude towards cows, read this post.)