Monday, February 13, 2006

Best. Confirmation email. Ever.

I had decided quite some time back that if I ever got enough bob into my PayPal account, the first thing I'd do with it is get myself more music. Having obtained the necessary dough recently, I spent two days looking for music worth paying for at CD Baby. I ended up buying three albums (Hey, there was a sale). The next day, I get this email from them:
Your CDs have been gently taken from our CD Baby shelves with sterilized contamination-free gloves and placed onto a satin pillow.

A team of 50 employees inspected your CDs and polished them to make sure they were in the best possible condition before mailing.

Our packing specialist from Japan lit a candle and a hush fell over the crowd as he put your CDs into the finest gold-lined box that money can buy.

We all had a wonderful celebration afterwards and the whole party marched down the street to the post office where the entire town of Portland waved 'Bon Voyage!' to your package, on its way to you, in our private CD Baby jet on this day, Monday, February 13th.

I hope you had a wonderful time shopping at CD Baby. We sure did. Your picture is on our wall as "Customer of the Year". We're all exhausted but can't wait for you to come back to CDBABY.COM!!
The kings of sweet-talking.

For the record, this post does not have a single letter typed using a physical keyboard. My keyboard's screwed.. Every key. I'm using the On-Screen Keyboard. Yes, the one in which you click letters instead of typing them.
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13 comments:

  1. The Ranting HumanFebruary 18, 2006 at 7:03 AM

    antickpix,
    Got the following:

    FLAVOR: Red
    SIMEON FLICK: Soliloquy
    MICHAEL HALAAS: The Lucidity Project

    Advertising.

    Yes, bitterly.

    ReplyDelete
  2. The Ranting HumanFebruary 18, 2006 at 7:04 AM

    tsb,
    Couldn't agree with you more. I wonder what's gonna accompany the package when it arrives...

    ReplyDelete
  3. LavanyaFebruary 18, 2006 at 7:34 AM

    on screen keyboard? Dude, thats painful!

    ReplyDelete
  4. The Ranting HumanFebruary 18, 2006 at 9:42 AM

    Only for the index finger. And the wrist. And eventually my whole arm.

    ReplyDelete
  5. The Ranting HumanFebruary 18, 2006 at 10:50 AM

    Could be.. That would explain the giddiness.

    Near the bottom of the sidebar, on the main page. The sponsored links.

    ReplyDelete
  6. SindujaFebruary 19, 2006 at 11:57 PM

    That was wonderful customer care stuff.. Good strategy. I'm sure you end up feeling all light headed after you read it.

    ReplyDelete
  7. The Ranting HumanFebruary 20, 2006 at 7:06 AM

    I did, for about five minutes. Must try this strategy with profs...

    ReplyDelete
  8. The Ranting HumanFebruary 20, 2006 at 10:10 AM

    Or 'sterilized' or even 'CD'... Or is there some other reason as to why I shouldn't use 'package'?

    ReplyDelete
  9. JJFebruary 20, 2006 at 11:37 AM

    Tag. You're it.

    ReplyDelete
  10. The Ranting HumanFebruary 20, 2006 at 7:29 PM

    Here we go again...

    ReplyDelete
  11. The Ranting HumanApril 10, 2006 at 11:56 AM

    Heh... Isolating words can be fun.

    ReplyDelete
  12. AnonymousApril 20, 2006 at 6:52 PM

    Thanks for buying my CD. Hope you liked it.

    -Michael Halaas

    ReplyDelete
  13. The Ranting HumanApril 29, 2006 at 12:56 AM

    Ah, you're welcome. I did like it. Haven't played it much recently, but I remember liking the cello bits in 'Passing Ships', and 'Mural'. On the whole, it's nicely done, considering that you played most of the instruments.

    ReplyDelete

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