Some funnies from mail

Remember what I said about gap-fillers in the previous post? Well, forget it. I just couldn't resist these I got in my mail today:



On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his

teacher a note from his mother. The note read, "The

opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily

those of his parents."



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My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom

to tell me he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet.

So I fished it out and threw it in the garbage.

Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to

my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held

it up and said with a charming little smile, "We better

throw this one out too then, 'cause it fell in the

toilet a few days ago.



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I was driving with my three young children one warm

summer evening when a woman in the convertible ahead of

us stood up and waved. She was stark naked! As I was

reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout

from the back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a

seat belt!"



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Writing With Emotional Appeal



There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his

desire to become a great writer. When asked to define "great" he

said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read,

stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff

that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"



He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.



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I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day,

but I couldn't find any.



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Mother had decided to trim her household budget

wherever possible, so instead of having a dress

dry-cleaned she washed it by hand.



Proud of her savings, she boasted to my father, "Just

think, we are five dollars richer because I washed this

dress by hand."



"Good," my dad quickly replied. "Wash it again!"



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The Koala Bear



A Koala bear walks into a bar, sits down and orders a sandwich and the

bartender brings him a sandwich



The Koala eats the sandwich and gets up, spins around, pulls a pistol

out of his pouch, shoots the piano player, an proceeds to walk out of

the bar.



The bartender, in shock, shouts to the Koala, "hey who do you think you

are, you ate my sandwich and shot my piano player, and just where do you

think your going!



The Koala replies, "Hey I'm a Koala. Look it up."



The frustrated bartender pulls out a dictionary from behind the bar and

looks up Koala: "n. a marsupial that eats shoots and leaves."



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I thought it was just a bear, not a Koala...