You searched for what??!! / Why MSN search sucks

There was a time when I used to update this blog daily. And now, 28 nauseating Kenny Rogers songs later, that time is back! Well, kinda. Taking pity on my few loyal readers (apparently, I do have some), I've decided to update semi-daily (I just know I'm gonna hate myself later for this). That could be anywhere from once in two days to once a week. Subscribing to my feed could be worthwhile now. It's there in the sidebar if you have the patience to scroll down far enough.

And now, for today's update:

While looking through my site stats, I spotted some interesting keywords which've lead blokes to this blog. It's quite funny what people search for using MSN Search. Here are a few examples:

kabala anime images: Now, I'm not too familiar with anime, except for what's shown on TV. Yes, I do watch badly drawn characters who, by some magical power of theirs, are able to make different sounds by moving their mouths in the same way over and over again. After doing a Google (not MSN) search, I ended up at a site of ill repute... So, if you're one of those who've ended up here searching for such images, and you don't know the difference between a link to an image and a link to a site, you could try this site.

chat room for blondes: NO, this site does NOT have any chat room for blondes, or people with any other hair colour. It just has a couple of mentions of the word "blonde" when I once expressed my irritation of dumb blonde and sardar jokes. Why would you be looking for stupid chat rooms to while away time when you have this blog to read? If you DO want a chat room for blondes, go HERE.

blondes in chennai: Another blonde search. Don't people know when to quit? I didn't even know there were blondes in chennai... Are there blonde Indians in the first place?

fried bugs country: Ok, so I DID have a post about fried bugs. What kind of weirdo would actually go searching for fried bugs? I've heard of Country Fried Chicken and Country Fried Lamb, but Country Fried Bugs??!!

dps incident: Refer link in last line under "kabala anime images".

Right, that's it for today. My blogs don't show up when these terms are searched for in Google, only in MSN. And I don't hate Kenny Rogers, I just find his music nauseating. Especially when he sings about murder, death and unsuccessful love with glee, like in that song "Tomb of the Unknown Love".

Yet another template change... For the better?

This one took me very little time compared to the previous ones. Just had to change a few things here and there in the template to give it a seemingly new appearance. I'm running out of ideas for headers... Nothing special about this one. Optimized for 1024x768, unlike the others. This looks terrible in 800x600. I think I should've stopped this post with the title...

Independence Day

That's today. While the prime minister's off making (false?) promises and talking about the nation's progress at the Red Fort, I was busy updating the College life blog with a post on some ridiculous things that happened, thanks to my birthday, at the hostel. Apparently, it's a crime to celebrate one's birthday. More at College Life.

I can't rant about a slow internet connection anymore (have I ever done that?). I've got broadband! Now I can actually perform illegal activities like downloading copyrighted movies and entire music albums. Yay. A toast to broadband, it really brings out the criminal in you.

A year old, today. Explanations, anyone?

Yep, today's the first anniversary of this blog. Browsing through the archives, I noticed that I don't have an introductory post. The first post of most blogs usually involve a brief introduction of the blogger and some explanations as to why the blogger is blogging, blah, blah, blah. I never did that.

And so, I've decided that I'm gonna do some explaining. No, I'm not going to talk about myself or explain why I started this blog. I'm about to answer a question several people have been pestering me with. The ultimate question, the answer of which isn't 42.

Why the pseudonym "The Ranting Human"?

Sheep in the Big City. Ever watch that cartoon? Quite hilarious. There's this character who comes at the end of every episode. He rants a lot. The Ranting Swede, that's what he's called. That's how I came up with "The Ranting Human".

Why not "The Ranting Indian"? (The ultimate question eventually leads to more questions, you know)

I dunno. Probably cuz it wouldn't suit a global audience? Hell, I never thought about an audience when I set up this blog, so it can't be that.

But you hardly rant! Shouldn't you be called "The (A)Musing Human" or something?

Don't you know when to shut up?

It's my birthday.

So down to your knees! And shout "Hail the Ranting Human!". Or do a good deed. Or get a life. Why are you even here? Get a nice haircut for a change. Or if you have played Monkey Island, try living like Guybrush Threepwood. Yeah. And, if you still have nothing to do, read the archives. It takes a lot of time, believe me.

And those are the things you can do for free. Now, if you're the benevolent kind and have some spare change in your pocket, you can go to hell. I've heard it costs a lot to go there.

The following is udder crap.

If you're thinking "cow dung", think again. No, it's not milk either, though technically that's what it ought to be. It's "bull shit", you moron!

Here I am, blogging, 16 hours before another set of internal tests starts. Strange... Many of my posts are on the eve of some kind of exam. I wonder what that means...

So why is this post "udder crap"? Well, statistics show that 2 outta 3 people like to read posts which claim to be udder crap (I could find only 3 people who were willing to cooperate) in a hope to find some vague instance of humor to cheer up their awfully boring lives. The third can try bungee jumping from any tall, sturdy object without the bungee, or beg for mercy. Not that begging for mercy would help...

If you've come this far, maybe you're not a moron. But I'm not calling you a genius, either. I'm not telling you why.

My birthday is coming up in a couple of days. How does that figure in a post which is supposed to be udder crap? Make a wild guess.

(I was actually applauding my intellect for coming up with the phrase "udder crap" before I googled it. 496 websites beat me to it. Damn Google.)

The game that ruined my life.

Hacking. Some lunatic is hacking at another man's throat with a hatchet. Strangely, the victim doesn't make a sound. There's only one sound - chopping. Chop, chop, chop. A neanderthal chopping sound. They are deep inside what looks like a jungle. No jungle noises, though. No crickets, no wolves, no cracking of twigs, not even the sound of the raining blood. Another chop. It was then that I finally agreed I had watched Sin City too many times and woke up from my slumber.

But the chopping didn't stop. I realized it wasn't chopping. The sound was coming from the computer. It was from the game that ruined my life. My mother was playing it. "Squarez" by Eric Burgess. Ever since it was installed, my holidays (Yeah, holidays... Haven't you been reading College Life?) haven't been too much fun. All you have to do in the game is identify square patterns in a two dimensional array of balls of assorted colours. For reasons I don't understand, my mom finds this game addictive. My daily mission is this: To beat my mother to the computer. If I fail in this mission, I have to suffer for hours without my computer, for my mom's exceptionally good at the game. The pain...

To allay my pain, I started to fiddle around with my semi-destroyed keyboard, trying to make music of some kind. A friend of mine, who is quite an extraordinary guitarist/singer/harmonica player (known as Entropy, Max in the blogosphere) once played this song called "House of the Rising Sun". I'd never heard the song before, but I found that I liked it almost immediately. The original song was by The Animals, which I still haven't heard. Coming to the point, the weird noises I was making with my keyboard started sounding less weird and more like the song aforementioned.

Of course, since I've never heard the original, I didn't know how the whole song went. I remembered only the initial part of what he played. Also, he had excellent strumming skills, which I, being no guitarist (or musician, for that matter) had no chance of recreating. So I kinda modified the half-song here and there, replaced the vocals with my keyboard and recorded the cacophony. For your listening pleasure (Displeasure might be more appropriate), here's a low quality version of the song. I didn't have the patience to upload the high quality(but still horrible sounding) version.

To stream(i.e, play the song without downloading the entire file in advance)the song, click here. (Note: Winamp required, Windows Media Player doesn't seem to work)

To download the song, click here. (If clicking doesn't work, right-click and select "Save Link As"/"Save Target As". Any mp3 playing software will do. File Size:570 KB)