It's my birthday.

So down to your knees! And shout "Hail the Ranting Human!". Or do a good deed. Or get a life. Why are you even here? Get a nice haircut for a change. Or if you have played Monkey Island, try living like Guybrush Threepwood. Yeah. And, if you still have nothing to do, read the archives. It takes a lot of time, believe me.

And those are the things you can do for free. Now, if you're the benevolent kind and have some spare change in your pocket, you can go to hell. I've heard it costs a lot to go there.

The following is udder crap.

If you're thinking "cow dung", think again. No, it's not milk either, though technically that's what it ought to be. It's "bull shit", you moron!

Here I am, blogging, 16 hours before another set of internal tests starts. Strange... Many of my posts are on the eve of some kind of exam. I wonder what that means...

So why is this post "udder crap"? Well, statistics show that 2 outta 3 people like to read posts which claim to be udder crap (I could find only 3 people who were willing to cooperate) in a hope to find some vague instance of humor to cheer up their awfully boring lives. The third can try bungee jumping from any tall, sturdy object without the bungee, or beg for mercy. Not that begging for mercy would help...

If you've come this far, maybe you're not a moron. But I'm not calling you a genius, either. I'm not telling you why.

My birthday is coming up in a couple of days. How does that figure in a post which is supposed to be udder crap? Make a wild guess.

(I was actually applauding my intellect for coming up with the phrase "udder crap" before I googled it. 496 websites beat me to it. Damn Google.)